It is not often I take a nap, however today I was not feeling well and was tired, so a nap was in order for me. In my dream, I found out my mother was still alive but for some reason hiding. In my dream, there was a female guard to protect mom from others… for keeping mom’s secret that she is still alive. I confronted the guard and without saying who I am or giving mom’s name, I said “where is she?” and the guard knew who I was referring to mom.
The guard took me to a small room with several tables. Mom was sitting at one of the tables talking to someone and wasn’t looking in my direction. As I got closer to her, she said “no, she wasn’t going anywhere”. Looking at her, I told mom I was there to take her away, that if she felt she needed to stay there and away from whatever she was hiding from, that I understood.
Mom didn’t say anything else to me but had me sit on her lap. Me a grown woman, sitting on my mother’s lap. She held me for a long time, and it felt so real.
Mom wasn’t an affectionate mother and she often yelled instead of talking. When I was a little girl, I assume she must have hugged me, but I don’t remember it. I do remember when I was 25 mom’s cousin died. After seeing him in the coffin, I started crying and crying and walked away into the lobby. Mom came and sat by me and hugged me as I cried. That is my only memory of her hugging me.
As I have come to terms with things from my life, I took the dream of mom hugging me as her way of telling me she is sorry. Mom must have known a hug was just what I needed.
