To face the good, bad, and ugly in my life, I had to put my story on paper, or rather, type it out on my computer screen. As I wrote my memoirs, my life struggles were right in front of me, and there was nowhere to go but face them head-on. As I wrote, I felt my insecurities, heartache, fear, anger, joy, happiness, along with regret. The bottom line for regret was not being true to myself, which would have made my life better not only for me, but for my children, my family, and my friends.
Seeing my life in print—okay, not in print, but on the screen—was me looking in a mirror and seeing myself for the first time. I examined the who, what, and why. The woman in the mirror and I cried together, laughed together, and loved together. We reminisced about the past, talked about what could have been, saw what could be and what is, and what my future may hold.
The woman in the mirror was kind and loving. She helped me find my inner self by simply being there to support me. She loved me for me, not for my mistakes, but for me. She never fussed, ridiculed, or became angry at me for anything from my past or my current life. As the woman in the mirror looked at me, she became aware of my newfound awareness, of my letting go of things I can’t control.
I am now happier, kinder, more loving, and have accepted the good, bad, and ugly from my life. With that acceptance came the release of much of the stress that had been with me most of my life.
And for the first time, I feel comfortable in my genes.
Written in 2020
